Inbetween
Filed under Sweden
I am terribly behind on my apply-for-jobs, prepare-for-the-semester, get-act-together plan. Like, days and days behind. I’m terribly scared that this is the post-Kentucky situation all over again; I can’t let go of the perfect life I experienced abroad, I try to still be a part of everything the people I left behind are doing, I look at pictures and videos over and over again — and I completely forget to get a grip on my real life in the here and now.
The rational part of my brain knows what to do, understands that these new friends are not going anywhere, realizes that March and my return to Sweden are not far, anyway. But it appears the rational part of my brain never has any saying in what I actually end up doing.
And the sort of twisted irony in all of this is of course that the kind of life I lived in Sweden and the people I miss so much now taught me exactly what it’s like to live in the moment, and continue to inspire me to do so in their emails. But it’s not the same. It’s difficult.
Jan17
January 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm
A. It’s January and January sucks. I know you like winter, but January is like a sudden plunging into cold water – shocking and cold and dark and NOT FUN.
B. This sort of adjustment period is really, really normal. I had this post Smart Kids Summer Camp, after graduation, after Germany, etc. While you shouldn’t allow yourself to wallow FOREVER, don’t beat yourself up about it. Your body and mind and spirit has to readjust to your new normal daily life all over again and it’s exhausting. It’s even more exhausting feeling sad and missing your previous place and feeling guilty about it all the time.
Just take it one day at a time. Allow yourself quiet and lazy time, force yourself to do one productive thing a day, even if it’s small. One day, you’ll wake up and it’ll be easier. Promise.
Email any time!
January 18, 2011 at 4:25 am
What Emily said.
You’ll be ok, Kat.